Why Beer is Better than Women

A frigid beer is a good beer. After a beer, the bottle is still worth a nickle. All you have to do to get head is undo the top and turn it upside down. Beer always goes down. Easy. Beer can is worth something after you've had it. Beer doesn't bother about foreplay. Beer doesn't care about your size. Beer doesn't care what position your in. Beer doesn't care when you come. Beer doesn't cry if you don't talk to it for a week. Beer doesn't demand equality. Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. Beer is always ready. Beer is always wet. Beer is never late. Beer labels peel off without a fight. Beer never has a headache. Beer never talks back. Beer stains wash out. Beer will never have a another beer. Beer will never leave you for a cucumber. Beer won't get pregnant. Beer won't get upset when you come home with beer on your breath. Beer won't mind if you fart after you've had it. Beers don't get PMS. Beers don't get fat. Beers don't get headaches. Beers don't have cellulite. Beers don't have periods. Beers don't have teeth. Beers don't leave wet patches in the bed. Beers don't mind if you don't stay up all night. Beers don't nag. Beers don't want equal rights. Beers don,t have mother-in-laws. Beers improve with age. Beers never leave pubes in your throat. Hangovers go away. Having a Beer won't give you a sore back. If you change beers, you dont have to pay alimony. If you go to a bar you'll definately be able to get a Beer. If you pour a beer right, you'll get good head. When a beer goes flat, you toss it. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. When you open a beer you know your the first and only one to have it. You can carry half-dozen Beers in one hand with little fuss. You can enjoy a beer all month long. You can have a Beer cold. You can have a Beer in public. You can have as many Beers as you want and they won't get jealous. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guity about it. You can piss and have a Beer at the same time. You can share a beer with a friend and it doesn't care. You can't catch syphillis from a Beer. You don't have to chat a Beer up before you have it. You don't have to wash a Beer before it tastes good. You don't have to wine and dine a beer. You don't need to dress up to pick up some beers. You never find a med in your beer. You never have to wait for a Beers nails to dry. Your beer will always wait patiently for you, in the car, while you play a sport.